Updated: Nov 4, 2021
There is a space within you that is soft yet expansive, sometimes quiet, and yet other times passionately thunderous. It can feel timid or as vibrant and expanded as profound love.
You know it well, oh so well. You feel it always, throughout every moment of your day and yet most people have learned to suppress, hide or ignore this space within to ‘protect’ ourselves from being hurt.
We have been taught in our patriarchal society to cover up, belittle, or ignore our deepest, most vulnerable feelings and the whispers of our most sensitive desires and dreams within. We fear that to feel these feelings or to express them is to be weak.
These deep and sensitive emotions do not have a place to be expressed in school or the ‘work force.’ Being ‘cool’ is highly admired in our society and the essence of ‘coolness’ is invulnerability itself. The ‘cool kids’ act as though they are above human emotions of the heart in fear of being bullied or ridiculed themselves.
Our adult culture prizes us on ‘keeping it all together’ at all times. Many people try to push our most vulnerable emotions away through keeping busy, shopping, substance use, binging on food and entertainment and other unhealthy addictions. Our society influences us to do anything but share, feel or express our vulnerabilities, emotions and unique passions, especially the most sensitive and tender. Because of the lack of understanding of the sacredness of our hearts, we are not aware that this vulnerable place is the essence of our most precious place, the human Heart. It is the birthplace of the greatest creativity, connection to all of life, to our most profound joy, and our deepest openings to humanity and all of life.
Unless we share these feelings with others, we do not even realize that everyone else is feeling this exact same way too. Our inability to be vulnerable makes us all feel alone. Yet, we are all the same in our deepest feelings and our truest essence. When we have the courage to share our heart in all authenticity, it becomes the birthplace of true intimacy which has an enormously powerful healing ability in our lives and the lives of others.
Because we have been taught to see love as something that we receive from outside of us and something that we must earn, our human hearts continue to be protected by a shield of amor. Here we numb, silence or hide this most sacred part of ourselves so that we can remain ‘loveable.’ Yet displaying vulnerability and our authentic heart can be one of the most precious gifts and the most nourishing and beautiful thing in the world. It often contains the exact truth and wisdom that a relationship, your own life, or the world needs for profound change.
We fearfully tell ourselves, “If I show my most sensitive and true self, and someone does not like it, I will be unloveable,” So we don’t take the risks that we need to in order to live our most fulfilling, passionate, heart centred and connected life expressing our own unique selves.
Yet studies show that what people in their last moments of life regretted most was not what they did, but what they didn’t have the courage to do.… to tell that person how much they loved them, to quit the job they hated, to apologize, to try that very different way of being, to speak their truth, to move to another country of their dreams, or to make amends.
Additionally, in our families and love lives, our vulnerability is exactly the key which can bring profound peace and connection within a moment of time, a complete miracle of change can happen in an instant.
Listening to that voice and hearts yearning within while taking the risk, acknowledging that we have no control over the outcome, is the greatest step that every profound change and great miracle had to endure first.
Yet to listen to, show and embody our most authentic feelings can feel absolutely terrifying. How do those who allow themselves to be authentically vulnerable find their courage?
The Well-Spring of Love Within I strongly believe from my own life experience and through supporting women in awakening to their open-heart essence that we find the courage to live our truth when we connect to the immense well-spring of unconditional love that we have eternal access to within.
In order to surrender, to be vulnerable and open, to soften into love and our truth, we must feel safe. But sadly, we often do not even feel safe within our own selves. To access this courage, we must be loving, supportive and understanding to our own self first.
We must first understand that we are love itself, that we are inherently loveable just as we are. We must trust that our inner callings and hearts yearnings are scared and reflect the unique gifts we have to share with the world.
We must find and listen to that still soft voice of love within that is inherent within us all. This is where we receive the eternal support, love and acceptance from within that nothing outside of ourselves could ever replace.
Most people have employed their inner critic to berate, belittle and silence their inner yearning so that they can protect themselves from betrayal, failure or embarrassment. Unfortunately, the inner critic is very loud and often over-powers the still quiet voice of love and truth within.
It is highly possible that the voice of the inner critic is the same voice of a parent or teacher from your past that was highly critical of you. We falsely believed that in order to protect ourselves from ridicule again, this voice would help, so we allowed it to take full power over us. But we don’t have to let that happen anymore. We are free to choose. We have the power to allow a more powerful, more intelligent and much more highly evolved authority within us lead, nurture and support our lives.
When we understand that we do not need to earn love, as we ALREADY ARE love itself, we no longer need to rely on the opinions of others to fulfill us. As mature adults, we can gift the natural human need of unconditional love to our very own selves through our connection to the greater power of love that we are all made of. We can realize through this connection to this eternal love that all we need and are searching for, we have within. When we were children, we needed our parents for our very survival. We looked to them for their approval, guidance and love. Now as adults, we must become fully mature by knowing that we are already love itself and that we are capable of taking care of our own selves and our own needs. But just as children do, we all need to have supportive, understanding and loving inner guidance system to thrive and live a joyfully passionate and authentic life.
We can therefore act from a true space of love as we honour, listen, and care for our precious authentic selves from connecting with the Divine Mother within, rather than listening to our inner critical voice. In this state, we can find healthy ways to meet our own needs and ask for help from others from a place of wholeness and surrender, rather than force. From this state, we can connect with others and the world from an authentic place of true love. A love that is not demanding, but just is.
“There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance. We need to learn to love ourselves first, in all our glory and our imperfections. If we cannot love ourselves, we cannot fully open to our ability to love others or our potential to create. Evolution and all hopes for a better world rest in the fearlessness and openhearted vision of people who embrace life.” – John Lennon
The Voice of Love Within
The voice of the Divine Mother within has many different names and is also known as the Soul Voice, The Divine Sofia, The Eternal Love, or the Higher Self. She is the connection to the eternal flow of love that created us all. We are all a part and a piece of this love. Each uniquely different, yet equally valuable and important.
The Divine Mother is one of 7 archetypes of the Divine Enchantress Within that create support and wholeness within. She is the precious, wise, humble voice of eternal love and support that we find when we allow ourselves to get still and make space for the quiet within. She is the one that tells us, “No matter if everyone rejects you or even if you are crucified, I will always love you. I will never abandon you. I am here for you always.”
For it is the words that you tell yourself which are most important. No matter what anyone else says, thinks of you, or does, if you hold yourself within the womb of unconditional love, you will have connected to your greatest strength. She is the one that can soften any fear back into love. She can give you the strength to share your most vulnerable truth which can be a profound catalyst for miracles.
This is the voice of the light within that gives us the courage to take the chances of our heart’s whisperings, to follow our dreams and passions even with the fear of the reality that we have no idea or control of the outcome. This is the sacred voice that reminds us that we are made to be exactly as we are, including our vulnerable hearts, and that nothing is actually inherently wrong with us. She reminds us that every emotion is an expression of a human need and that we should honour and respect the wisdom of our bodies and hearts so that we can be healthy and whole within. She reminds us that our heart is always our truest guide. When connecting with our lover and expressing our vulnerable hearts it is imperative to first make sure we are full within so that we are able to connect as a whole-human with our inner most truth, rather than from a state of lack, demanding our needs be met by the other. The latter evokes more disharmony and separation and the former creates a bridge and an opportunity for intimacy, newfound passion, and free devotion. I explain the keys to empowered vulnerable heart sharing in my book, The Way of the Divine Enchantress, which speaks directly to and inspires the masculine to connect instantly and allows couples to melt together in true intimacy rather than creating more distance and trauma. Time and again, women tell me that after years of an issue, they have finally experienced peace and connection after just one moment of speaking in this empowered vulnerable way of the Divine Enchantress.
Additionally, when we share our vulnerability to others we allow them the space to feel more safe and comfortable to share their authentic hearts with us as well. But, it is only with the support of unconditional love and acceptance within that we are able to allow our vulnerable hearts to be heard to fulfill our deepest purpose, take our greatest risks in love and live full passionate lives.
Connecting to this Eternal Voice of Love Within You
You can access this inner sacred voice in different ways. I have often found her accessible through putting one hand on my heart and one on my womb. Then I close my eyes and take a few deep breaths and allow myself to sink into my body and heart through feeling how the breath feels within me. Take as much or as little time as you need. Be gentle with your dear self.
Here from this relaxed state, I can directly ask to be connected to the love of the Divine Mother (or the creator of all, or your higher power, whatever feels right for you) within, knowing that this is a place that connects me to a greater power than myself, the connection to all that is. In this quiet space, I wait and listen and receive her wisdom. Create a safe space for yourself as you bask in the unconditional love within.
A life changing practice is to simply honour and listen to all of your emotions every day by saying, “Yes I understand.” and “Its ok you feel like that.” This is so incredibly soothing and helps us move through our emotions with ease. After we allow ourselves to feel our emotions, we can wait to listen to the wisdom that comes up from the emotion. Dr. Rosenberg, psychologist and founder of non-violent communication reminds us that every human emotion is simply pointing to either a fulfilled human need or an unfulfilled human need.
Here we ask ourselves, “What is it that I am feeling and therefore what is it that I am needing?”
When you can listen to, feel and honour your emotions with the support of the unconditional love within, you will be able to rest in the womb of unconditional love and fill yourself with all of your needs. From this space you can feel safe to truly be your precious self in the world. The more you allow yourself to be gentle with yourself and align yourself to the love that is inherently within you, the more gentle, peaceful, pleasurable and loving your life will be in an ongoing basis.
Everything that comes from the space of the Heart feels Vulnerable One very important piece of wisdom I have learned along my journey to wholeness is that no matter what, when we are acting from the heart space, we will always feel vulnerable. Our courage to follow our hearts does not come from the feeling of vulnerability going away, as this tender feeling is the essence of your heart space. It is simply that the unconditional love you align yourself with will give you the courage to take the steps to follow and honour your heart, gently loving you through it. Even if your heart is racing and your palms are sweaty and shaking, you can choose to make space for the truth of love within.
I still feel vulnerable every time I write a blog, do a workshop, or connect from the heart because this all comes from my heart space, which is inherently vulnerable. Trust me sister, it has been such an incredibly vulnerable journey to get to this point where I am, helping women remember this sacred and powerful wisdom and love of their hearts and bodies that they possess within. But, my devotion to the tremendously gentle power and nature of the heart and body of the whole human is my life passion and truth. I passionately believe within my heart that our sensuality and vulnerability are our hidden path to wholeness and will restore us all back to a state of love. So, I lovingly support my gentle heart and take the steps I need to when I feel incredibly vulnerable about speaking this truth within. And I know that when I shine my light, I encourage others to shine so brightly too, that also gives me such courage. Together we rise.
Our hearts are precious, and need to be treated with gentleness, love, care and protection. The more we can give this gentleness, compassion and understanding to ourselves, the more we can do so for others. And yet, paradoxically, becoming comfortable with this open-hearted feeling feels insanely blissful and beautiful and makes me feel so fully alive. I don’t want to ever close my heart.
Whats even more profound and beautiful is that our vulnerable heart connects us to everyone and all forms of life. We can feel the vulnerability of all people, animals, and our planet. It is truly through our hearts that we are connected as one. We support each other in shining our own lights which can feel so scary.
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It’s not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” — Marianne Williamson